I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize