Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
