I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
