yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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