ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
