you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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