Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
