marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
