I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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