it was like eating out sand paper
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize