I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
