he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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