I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
