An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
