You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
