her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize