hell yes lets make some ravioli
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
