The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
