Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
