The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
