your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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