dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
