there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
