so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
