There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
