I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
