Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
