I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The uberlube is also flammable
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
