:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
