Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
