You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize