how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
