JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
