see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
