You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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