apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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