it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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