She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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