so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
