Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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