grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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