Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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