I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize