Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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