My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
