Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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