I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
