dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
