im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
