We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
