if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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