how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
