i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
