Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
