Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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