"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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