How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
