Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
