Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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