i think my mom watched the whole time
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
