47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
