are you still at the devil's house?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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