I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
